More Boring Crap on TV - A Glimpse Into Our Bedroom | Divine Lifestyle
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More Boring Crap on TV – A Glimpse Into Our Bedroom

Sometimes my husband just kills me. He will watch grass grow if it is in HD. Seriously, I have caught him watching animal planet because it is in HD. Not for the ubiquitous humping, mind you. When I walk in and catch him red-handed (not really) watching it, he looks at me all amazed and says, “Look at the color of the spots on that leopard. They are stunning.”

This is no drug reaction, ladies and gentleman. Rather this is HD. High Definition. Isn't it only freakin' television, for the love of Mike? Half of the time I don't even notice the difference.

“Who cares?” I always tell  him. This infuriates my husband.

He turns into a maniac if he comes in and catches me watching something that we have in HD but that I am just watching on plain old cable. Flips his lid. Has to go through the entire “did you not know that we have these exact same channels on HD? do you know where they are located?”

I look at him and say “I just found it and turned it on.”

This infuriates him even further. How could I be so nonchalant about it?

In fact, another fight of ours is  the guide. We share what we watch in the bedroom. We both like different things. I try to watch his and he tries attempts to watch mine. But I let him have control of Super ‘Mote (yeah, we have named our remote control. Ok actually the kids named it but it stuck and we all call it that. We ARE a bunch of nerds, aren't we?)

While he looks through the channel guide, he will go through the HD channels at least twice to see if anything is on. Weighing his options. I am sure the wheels are turning in his mind and he is saying to himself “that looks a little boring  but it is in HD.” This infuriates me. He will spend 20 minutes looking for a show meanwhile missing half of the other on television.

For instance as I write this, he has changed the channel from the first show that I complained about to another boring show. This one is called Great Titans of the World.

So I like to play dumb and ask “hey is that like the Tennessee Titans?”

But he ignores and instead says after announcer talks about the Amazon River, “Dude he got hot, wet and exotic in the same sentence. That is so cool! Huhuhuh huhuhuh” Ok Keanu I am thinking.

A few minutes later he says to me “Holy crap. Did you hear that?” after the announcer says something groundbreaking.

I look at him disgust and say “Why in the world would you think that I am listening to this?”

So he then tells me anyway. All of these facts about the Amazon River that I just am concerned about right now.  Maybe I will be on Jeopardy one day and these questions will be asked of me. Who knows?

But he proceeds to tell me this really long story about a show that he and my son watched the other day. It was about a bird called a Liar Bird. This bird apparently does calls in all sorts of sounds. Not only does he share this little nugget but then he proceeds to do each of the bird calls. The chainsaw. The car alarm. Mating calls.

[Side note: One of the cool things about this bird is that whichever bird strings together the best song of impressions, gets all the ladies. Nature in its wildest form]

I am looking at this 38 year old man do bird impressions with a beer in one hand. The other hand in front of his mouth as he opens and closes it towards me. “Dooooooo doooooo. Dooooooo dooooooo. Like a car alarm.

All while I am thinking “I married this guy?” but knowing full well what I got myself into.

[Another side note: this is the same old thing going on night after night. We fight the same fight. So it is really not a fight rather a little heated bickering. We're cool.]

I let him ramble on for a few more minutes. Then I say “hey do you know what is more boring than watching one of your boring shows on tv?”

He looks hopeful and says what?

I say “watching one of your boring shows on tv and having to listen to you tell this story at the same time.” I immediately regret it as I look at his crushed face. Feeling like I maybe totally went overboard.

“Do you not realize that this was in HD? Can you not imagine how cool it looked? Your a jerk.” He then turns over and goes to sleep.

Now I am stuck here thinking about the events of this entire evening. Going over the conversations in my mind.

But really all that I am concerned with now is that I have the remote. BUH BYE mating calls of the emaciated, Swedish honeybee just 'cause your in HD.

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7 Comments Leave a Comment »

  1. Yep…I’m with ya.
    Great post.

    Just stopping by via MBC to say hello.

  2. Uh, oh. I have to say, I’m with your husband. HD is AWESOME. There really is a big difference between watching the HD channel versus the crap graphics we were watching before this glorious invention. Animal Planet…a must in HD. Discovery channel? HD all the way. There is no other way to watch Planet Earth. Not to mention Sunrise Earth…I watched this a lot when I was home on maternity leave. It’s so relaxing, and so beautiful it’s almost as if you’re there on the beach watching the sun rise and listening to the waves.

    Oh, and of course sports!!! Never will I watch a football game or golf from those non HD channels. Sorry, but I have to say your man knows where it’s at in the TV deparmtent!

  3. I second Maria’s thoughts on HD…. I’m right there with your husband!! If you are a fan of CSI: Miami, watch THAT in HD, you will not believe what it looks like on a big TV in HD. I didn’t get the whole thing when my hubs wanted to go out and buy a 56 HD TV and upgrad DirecTV to HD, yada, yada, yada… but I went along with him because I watch a lot of TV because I’m homebound a lot, and he heard it was fab for football and that really is the ONLY thing he cares about on TV, so lets make the hubs happy. But, NOW, I can’t STAND to watch anything that is not on HD, it is amazing – just put the same thing on with and without and flip back and forth — you’ll see. Sorry to side with your hubby, I know us girls should stick together, don’t take it too hard.

  4. If your dear husband would have went with the mating call instead of the car alarm… would the night ended differently?

  5. LOL…my husband is the exact same way. It’s like he can sense it too, after he goes to sleep and I turn on Oprah reruns or the Tonight Show, he’ll wake up just to tell me that I should be watching it in HD. It’s so annoying. He even reset all my DVR settings so that they record in HD. I’ll admit, it does look nicer in HD, but my fingers just can’t get used to pressing 7-0-2 instead of just 2…don’t know if it’s habit or just laziness.

  6. LeNesha

    Ok so seriously, I am in tears cracking up over here about his story…LOL. I can so relate. My husband went out and bought a super nice, HD flat screen, top of the line TV a few months ago. And he is seriously amazed at HD too. He takes it a step further than your husband though. He will hook up his laptop to the tv and and seriously check out various satellite views of world locations on google maps…not necessarily for the HD, but because of the size of the tv which makes him feel like he’s right there in the scene. So, one Saturday afternoon, he gathered the family (daughter and I) into the living room to explore Rome on Google Maps. I have to admit, it was really quite fun. You can literally zoom in so much that you can see into shop windows and what not.

    Anywho, I’ve caught hubby engrossed in nature shows, history shows, all types of even boring stuff watching in HD. I guess that’s just what husbands do.

  7. ellen

    Mine wants an HD TV now that most of the shows are broadcast that way. I keep telling him if they are broadcast in HD, arent we looking at HD? Seems logical to me anyway.

    Men are nuts. Period 🙂

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