The Orange Shoes
The Orange Shoes We didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up. We weren't poor exactly… We were fed and clothed and took the yearly family road trip. But what we...
My Mom Logic
I never wanted to be a mother and marriage was pretty much out for me as well. I am sure that is very strange way to start a post about Mom Logic so let me clarify that. I never thought that I would make a good mother so in my infinite wisdom twenties, I decided that I would be a “career woman.”
I was too selfish. I worked full time. I traveled around the world. My goals were simple, to make six figures and/or to start my own business. I did both. I spent most of my 20’s working hard and playing hard but it wasn’t until I was 28 that I realized something was missing. So I bought my first house and got an MBA but there was still that feeling that my life was incomplete.
Soon after that I met the man who would become my husband. The moment that I met him, I knew that he was the man I was going to marry. The dictionary defines logic as “a particular method of reasoning.” My reasoning or logic had changed over the years. I matured and what I wanted out of life changed as I did. Meeting someone and thinking that it was “love at first sight” was the kind of thing that I laughed at when I was younger. That seemed ridiculous. So illogical.
But suddenly here I was with everything that I thought I had ever wanted and it wasn’t enough. It never felt right. I wanted to be married to this man and I wanted to spend my life with him. Marriage came about two years after we met (I had to be certain) and this year we will celebrate our 10th anniversary.
We talked about children and I thought maybe we would give it a shot later in life but three years after we married, I found myself pregnant. I wanted a boy so much that I was scared to find out the sex.
My water suddenly broke one morning and our son came into the world almost seven weeks early at 4 pounds via an emergency C-section. He couldn’t eat because he had not developed the sucking reflex so he was tube fed or syringe fed when they let us do it. I had no clue what to do. I had no Mom Logic. I felt sorry for myself and our son. He was beautiful and fragile but came without instructions. I was scared. I had been able to use reasoning to deal with everything in my life except this.
The fourth day in the hospital, our son was still not eating or doing very well and everyone was concerned. The nurses were giving us instructions on how to put the syringe in his mouth and put a little food in there. I still had not held my son. They wouldn’t let us. Suddenly my reasoning kicked in and I told them that I had to hold him right that second. I didn’t care how they did but they help me pick up all of the cords and attachments but I had to hold my baby. This was My Mom Logic.
From that moment on, our son was held almost 24 hours a day. He began to eat. He began to grow and we never left his side. After several weeks in the hospital, we brought him home and he really thrived. He did suffer from RSV and spend several more weeks in the hospital that first year but was otherwise doing ok. One year after his birth, our little preemie weighed 20 pounds and we were thrilled. I never went back to work (at least not outside of the house).
The second child came almost four weeks early but she came home with us from the hospital. She had a few hospital stays during her first few years but today is a healthy, active child. 
Baby #3 arrived two years ago and also came early. The day after she was born, we found out that she had a heart defect which required open heart surgery as soon as she was strong enough. I plunged into a deep, post-partum depression. It took me a while to pull myself out of this depression and today I still take anti-depressants but they have changed my life for the better.
Never have I learned more than when I became a mother. The strong, world traveling career woman that I envisioned myself to be in my 20's is completely different from the woman that I am today. School, work, travel was nothing compared to holding my four pound child in one hand (he was that tiny) and realizing that we created him. This being. This person came from us and that it was up to us to shape and mold the person that he would become. There is no training for that. There is only logic. Mom Logic.
My Mom Logic:
-Tells me that each child was an extraordinary gift given to and meant for only me (well and my husband but this is my post).
-Evolves from day-to-day, week-to-week and changes as my children grow. It also changes as I evolve and grow as a mother.
-Tells my children that they can be whatever they want when they grow up because today, anything is possible.
-Says to do whatever I can to foster their creativity and sense of wonder.
-Tells me not to compare my children with other children because all three are unique and this type of comparison is fair to no one.
-Lets my children fall or learn lessons (as much as this kills me sometimes) because I know that this makes them stronger.
-Tells me that if my child wants to dress up like Mr. Incredible nowhere near Halloween and go to Costco, complete with mask and boots, to just let him. Because being a parents means choosing your battles. And an old Halloween costume is not worth a battle.
-Tells me that I was meant to be the mother of these bright, happy, silly, tantrum-throwing children and all of the crazy things that I thought in my twenties no longer apply.
-Tells me that I have to let them go and let them grow up although for a few moments each day, I secretly wish that they would stay babies.
Mom Logic is what guides me daily and has really transformed me as a parent. Mom Logic is what tells me that my child is sick even though the doctor says that she isn’t (Baby 3 needed surgery and we just knew but the doctors didn’t think so at first). Mom Logic is what gives me the courage to parent as I see fit.
Finally, My Mom Logic tells me that no matter what kind of day I am having or how many days I have spent in the hospital with one of my children that I am absolutely where I should be. That this is what I meant to do with my life, to be a mother, their mother.
Great post Stacey!
so lovely!
That was a beautiful post! I’m so glad you found your mom logic. 🙂
Your logic is beautiful and honest. I love this post.
Going to retweet on the principle that you have very eloquently written what so many of us feel. Well done!
what a beautiful post! as a mom of a special needs daughter it is true at one point the “light bulb” just goes on and mom logic is automated. nice to meet you and share your story!
hugs,
shelley <3
LOVE THIS POST!
I felt the same way you did in your 20’s when I was in college & soon after. My only problem, was I couldn’t find a job in my field (PR) at the time. So I settled for some higher paying jobs in an industry I hated (real estate). But now I’m very happy staying home with my kids 8 & 1. I love the lessons you’ve learned, I’m going to have to sit & think about mine….
I’m signing up to follow from MBC Under 100 Club!
Wonderful Post! Hope to say the similar things again someday!
*ICLW*
i have followed a similar path – jet-setting career girl, now on the verge of becoming a first time mom! i hope my mom logic will kick in … great post!
What a beautiful post.
Stop by my place and pick up an award.
http://mothernosbest.blogspot.com/
That was divine!
That was wonderful. I loved ready it. Great job.
A fantastically honest post, thank you for sharing. It is amazing how these little people of ours can change our lives forever. Stopping by to follow from the Mom Bloggers Club 🙂
Amazing isn’t it?
What a beautiful post. I couldn’t have said it any better.
~ICLW
This is a beautiful, thoughtful, and eloquent post. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Mr. Shelby
Loving your ‘Mom Logic!” 🙂
*ICLW*
We were the first among our friends to have kids and the rest are catching up. Last week visiting the hardest ‘partiers’ of the group, who just had a baby, you could see in just 9 months, their world is completely changed. Gone are the days of Guitar Hero and shots of Jack and in are the pink frills and spit up and they couldn’t be happier about it. 🙂
Fantastic post … so much of my thinking was transformed by motherhood and mom logic is a wonderful thing!
Beautiful post!
ICLW
Hi. I’m just here visiting your site, and I have to say, I like it a lot. You have some great stuff to check out. I have a small blog that has been around for about 2 years. It’s not big, I delete posts every now and then. But I invite you to come check out my site. I would love to have you over. 😀
I love your blog. I love this post. I am from Entrecard and I can’t seen to be able to drop my card here. When I load your blog, the bar on the right seems to have two bars, one on top of the other. I don’t know if it’s just me or not. I’ve tried to load your blog in two different browsers, but still the widget is under another bar.
We never really know what’s in store for us, and I’d rather have it that way. After all, it wouldn’t be any fun [nor would we believe it] if we knew what was coming…When you get a chance, visit my new blog, Family Stories at http://yourfamilystory-cmpointer.blogspot.com/
What a beautiful post!
ICLW
What a beautiful post! I agree 100% with your mom logic! 🙂
Aw, very inspiring. Beautiful post. The girl has beautiful eyes.
Being a mother is the most important and best job there is! You should be proud!
Mom Logic is a life saver too! Thanks for posting this:)
THAT is an awesome post. I wish more women listened to their mom logic!!!
iclw
offtopic comment:
hello, I found your blog thru the UBP party from 5 minutes for mom last month, and I become a regular visitor eversince, to drop my EC and to read some of your interesting post, anyway, I just want you to know that I will going to put your button in my blog. Thanks and have a great day!
Bravo to you for having the courage to speak on your PPD, and the use of anti-depressants to help alleviate your symptoms. As moms, we need to be honest with our children, ourselves, and other moms.
Best to you, in continuing to use and discover your Mom Logic! 😉
I agree that this is a beautiful post. It’s amazing how the mom logic just keeps getting stronger as our kids get older. When are they lying, when are they telling the truth, is that friend a bad influence on them? The logic is still there, but sometimes it tells us things that we don’t always want to hear.
Congrats on making Top 10! I think we should both win! :o)
congrats on the nomination…wonderful post!!!
I had tears in my eyes as I read this…motherhood definitely changes you, and most of the time, it brings out the best in us. Great post.
Saw your ‘vote for me’ tweet and stopped by to read your post. Really glad I did. So many ‘amen to that’ moments as I read it.
I like this post alot- our paths are never set in stone… and to go from a ‘career’ woman to a MOM (one of the hardest jobs ever) is quite a transition.
This is such a beautiful post and so true. Mom Logic is never something you can be taught or read in a book. It’s just something you have to experience and find within. And, somehow it is as innate as breathing. Bravo!
Excellent ! Thanks for the post. Im a bit in the same boat with life money and job. Im now 38 and on the IVF cycle to make my life complete.
This is so beautiful. My coffee is watered down with tears and I’m such a better person for having read this. xoxo.