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How to Survive Visiting a Haunted House
Haunted houses are not for most people mainly because you can easily find yourself fighting off fears you never even knew you had. Occasionally, you will find yourself in that awkward social situation with some thrillseeker that demands that you show your hand.
For example, what if you are on a date and he or she wants to go to one? Do you admit you are scared or do you go for it and pray you don’t make a fool of yourself? For those that are stubborn and would never say no to a challenge, this article is for you. Here is a guidebook to survive haunted houses… even when you are scared to death:
1. One key to surviving a haunted house is learning how they operate. Most haunted houses can’t actually touch you, so they depend heavily on sight and sound. This is why they are so loud and so ugly to look at. Knowing this, you can arm yourself for their antics ahead of time.
2. You want to always carry some high quality ear plugs in your pocket or purse. These will allow you to muffle the startling noises that will be coming at you. Will you still get spooked? Of course. It will just minimize the damage when Leatherface cuts on his chainsaw, for example.
3. There are many different schools of thought about where in the line you wish to be. It is certain, however, that you don’t want to be first or last. These are the spots that will get scared most often. Some haunted houses are wise to this and throw in plenty of middle of the line scares as well.
4. Visually, you can do little other than close your eyes. This is not always a good decision, however. Sometimes when you close your eyes, you end up worse off than if you didn’t. What happens if you wander off into the wrong area? What if you bump into something you never intended?
5. The best thing you can do is put in your ear plugs, stay in the middle of the line and keep your eyes on the person in front of you as much as possible. When you are frightened, feel free to yell along with everyone else.
Here are a few other pointers culled from the experts at a local haunted house:
Never make eye contact with a monster…this will simply draw them in.
Never turn your back on a monster.
Never scream too loudly. This is a magnet as well.
Don’t volunteer for anything.
If you do these things, you will quickly make it through the haunted house with only a minimal amount of embarrassment.
Ok who are we kidding? You are going to be crying like a baby…and probably screaming like a girl.
Oh and if you are interested in really scaring the crap out of yourself (and I mean pee your pants kind of scary), check out what is arguably one of the most hardcore haunted houses ever in LA: