Learn more about Modern Manners Monday. QUESTION Dear DMM: My son is a pretty happy kid. He is positive and has a great outlook on life. But there is this kid in his class...
Seriously, Shouting is the New Spanking?
I just read the New York Times articles by Hilary Stout titled For Some Parents, Shouting Is the New Spanking. It a good read and references a few people that I just recently met like Devra Runner from Parentopia (she is adorable and looks just like her Twitter avatar – which is what I told her at Blogalicious).
In fact here is a direct quote from the article:
To research their book “Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most, and Raise Happier Kids,” the three authors, Devra Renner, Aviva Pflock and Julie Bort, commissioned a survey of 1,300 parents across the country to determine sources of parental guilt. Two-thirds of respondents named yelling — not working or spanking or missing a school event — as their biggest guilt inducer.
“What blew us away about that is that the one thing you really have ultimate control over is the tone of your voice,” said Ms. Pflock, a child development specialist.
This is absolutely true. In a perfect world. Now I am not saying that I disagree with them at all. But…my name is Stacie. I am a mother of three children ages 6, 4, and 2. I work full time. I write. I am stressed. I am overwhelmed. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I yell. And sometimes I just don't have control of my voice. I wish that I did. My husband wishes that I did.
Another quote in the article goes on to state:
Parental yelling today may be partly a releasing of stress for multitasking, overachieving adults, parenting experts say.
“Yelling is done when parents feel irritable and anxious,” said Harold S. Koplewicz, the founder of the New York University Child Study Center. “It can be as simple as ‘I’m overwhelmed, I’m running late for work, I had a fight with my wife, I have a project due — and my son left his homework upstairs.’ ”
One of my favorite parts of the article are the comments from readers. Do I wish that I didn't yell? Of course. It is a source of my mommy guilt? Absolutely. A HUGE source. I would love an alternative. But there are hundreds of readers just like me.
Want to read the article for yourself? Look over on the left sidebar and click the JuiceBox Jungle widget. That click will take you there.
So are you a yeller? Tell us how you handle stress and parenting.