Today, just a few minutes ago you turned eight. My breath catches in my throat and my eyes tear up a little as I type that. Because I cannot believe that you are actually eight years old.
Eight years ago today you came busting into this world (my water broke) six weeks early.
I had a hard time believing that I could love someone as much as your daddy. But from the first kick, I suddenly understood the true meaning of bonding. And every day as you grew bigger and stronger, I anxiously awaited your arrival.
I was also scared. What kind of mother would I be? How in the world would I change so many diapers? Would I easily be able to breastfeed? If not, would you starve?
I was always confident in the business world. Always sure of myself. This mothering thing had me scared to death.
But you were coming. Although your room wasn't ready. It still smelled like paint. Your new clothes weren't washed. I hadn't even had the second shower that was planned.
But you were ready. And when you set your mind on something, there is pretty much no stopping you.
You were only four pounds and you still needed a lot of extra attention from the hospital so they kept you but they sent me home. I sobbed uncontrollably for almost 30 minutes the day that I had to leave the hospital without you.
There was nothing that this overachieving, workaholic business-minded woman could do. It was humbling.
Although I was so unsure of myself as a mother, I did know that leaving the hospital without you was devastating. It felt wrong. Almost anticlimactic.
You were still in NICU and you would remain there for another few weeks. Your sucking reflex had not developed so you were fed through a tube. You liked to torture the nurses by pulling out your feeding tube almost every night. You were a scrappy four pounder!
The goal was to get you to eat. At first it was something as small as half a teaspoon. That amount seemed so huge to put in your tiny body. Your father and I reveled in every little triumph.
One extra CC of milk in you and we high fived. Leaving the feeding tube in for an entire night and we rejoiced. Breastfeeding for the first time and we were beside ourselves.
Eating on your own was such a huge accomplishment. I felt like I had waited my entire life to help you get there.
A few weeks after your rush into the world, you came home and you made our family complete. Perfect.
I could not be prouder to be your mother. I could not ask for a better, more amazing child.
I love you so much for the little boy that you are and the glimpse every day that I get of the man you are becoming.
I cannot imagine my life without you. I can barely remember my life before you. My life is enhanced because you are in it.
I cannot wait to see what your future holds.
Happy Birthday Huntly!
You sure don't look like a preemie anymore, my big boy.
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Goose bumps and a knot in my throat. After having 6, I know that the feeling of overwhelming love for your child can never be matched. Even by other kids you may have. It is as unique as each whirl of their tiny little fingerprints. Each year just adds to it with each joy, AND each test they might put on your shoulders. And each year goes by faster …so enjoy every moment. Happy Birthday to your little guy! (he reminds me SO much of my Godson!) What a wonderful love letter to your son…lucky mom and lucky boy…
What a little miracle. Happy Birthday to your beautiful big guy.
Happy Birthday Huntley!!!
He is a gorgeous boy, and that is such an amazing post about him. He will treasure each word as he grows up into a good & kind man.
Huntly , blame old lady fingers on my mispelling. You have an amazing Mom!
Jeez Stacie.. way to make a girl cry!
Alicia
What an incredibly sweet post. 🙂 Happy birthday to your son.
Such a sweet post! Happy Birthday to your little guy!
Oh the memories. My daughter turned eight last October she is my first born my first everything! I can’t believe how fast they grow up! Happy Birthday to your little/big one!
What a beautiful post Stacie! Oh wow – and happy birthday to your little man!
Happy Birthday, Huntly! I’ve been through the NICU experience with my daughter. And I know how it feels to leave your baby and be sent home. When you get home, it’s such a hollow, bittersweet experience and not the homecoming you had envisioned. I’m glad to see he’s such a strong, healthy boy now and has really overcome his time in the NICU!
happy birthday cute patotie!!!
OH my goodness that made me teary eyed!! Why do they have to grow up sooo fast?! You have a handsome little boy and I could never tell he was a preemie!!
Tears! There really is no way to explain the love you feel for your babies, but you did a good job! 🙂
Happy birthday to your little man. He’s going to grow into a handsome kid. 🙂
This is such an incredibly touching and beautiful post. I’ve always believed that being able to help raise my nephews was the most incredible blessing in my life.
Happy birthday, Huntley!
Aww, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Awwww, that’s so sweet! Happy bday to your son, he’s a cutie!
Good article !! What blog platform do you use on your www ?
Stacie, What a gift you have just given your son. Huntley is lucky to have you as you are to have him, you are both blessed. Your words are written beautifully I hope you save this page and put in a special spot for him in the future to see. Love to all Bev
Happy birthday.miracle
I was a 4lb baby too. I am glad you son is doing well now! You doing great as a mother with your best! He is absolutely adorable! Happy Belated birthday to your son! :]