The ‘D’ word can be a massive problem for couples if it is thrown around, but sometimes whenever you and your spouse are growing apart, or arguments are happening every single day, then it might seem like the only option if your marriage isn’t working.
However, before you and your spouse decide to push the nuclear button and get divorced for good, you do need to take some extra steps to see if you can dial things back.
Here are some things you can do to save your marriage and potentially dial things back from you getting a divorce, and they might work if you and your spouse have not fully committed to the idea.
What if You Want to Get Divorced, But Your Partner Doesn't?
If your spouse doesn’t want to get divorced and wants to make the marriage work despite you wanting to walk away, and you want to get out of the marriage, then you will need to go to a specialized divorce lawyer, and figure out what steps you will need to take if your partner is going to fight to keep you in the marriage or fight to deny you access to resources that you own.
A good divorce lawyer will ensure that you are able to understand what steps you need to take and also how to make sure you can get out of the marriage and be treated fairly. If a divorce is truly the only option, then at least make sure you can walk out of it with the resources that you deserve.
1. Focus On Your Family
While it isn’t very healthy to stay together in a marriage just because of your children or pets, you do need to consider the effect that a divorce will have on them. If they are young enough to still need to be in custody, then you need to consider the effects of a custody battle on them. The same thing goes for pets as well, because you might need to consider who gets them.
Even if you don’t get divorced, but are just going through a rough patch in your marriage, you still need to take care of your family and let your children know that you both still love them and that you are still a family. That should be constantly repeated and reminded whenever you are going through this process, because your children should know that this divorce is not their fault.
2. Try To Make It Work
And really try. Divorces have a lot of little triggers and things that have led you to this moment, and this powerful decision. Chances are you and your spouse know what the problems are and you can at the very least try to fix them. If you put in a few months of effort as does your spouse, and you both do your best to change, then you might be able to cope through the rough patch and fall back in love again.
While you might be tempted to do grand romantic gestures and recreations of first dates to get back into your spouse’s good graces, that will pale in comparison to the hard work of changing yourself. If you have a problem or some issues that are holding you back from being complete and fully there in your marriage, then you need to focus on fixing that.
If you and your spouse are focused on putting in the work and changing yourself, then you might find that you are staving off the need for divorce, but also coming out of it as stronger people.
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Stacie Connerty lives in Atlanta, Georgia with three teenagers. She has an insatiable love of travel, food and style & fashion. Stacie also loves all things tech, beauty, DIY, home decor, fitness, pet entertaining, and family.
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