6 Pieces of Advice That You Think are Obvious, But Some Kids Just Need to Hear

I heard about the Small Talk Six about a week ago and was instantly enamored with the idea. I did not participate last week because I had already written a similar post although I could not wait for this week but then, yesterday I forgot. So here I am, much I am usually, a little late but here.

The topic for this week is 6 Pieces of Advice that you Think are Obvious, But Some People Just Need to Hear. So here you go. This is the advice that I find myself often dispensing to my children. Day after day. Week after week.

6 Pieces of Advice that you Think are Obvious, But Some Kids Just Need to Hear

1. “You cannot eat food that has just fallen on the floor” I often find myself screaming yelling saying this rather loudly to my children. I mean, come on we all know about the ‘Five Second Rule' but a kid, they let that food sit there and then pick up thus negating the Five Second Rule. So, yep I am constantly repeating this one.

2. “It is not ok just to pee in the bath.” Maybe some of you feel differently but I am little grossed out when one of my kids pees in the bath or shower. I forgot to mention that they all still bathe together so when one goes, there are two members of the audience that are affected as well. Yuck. Just yuck.

3. “Honesty is always the best policy but only if you check with mommy first.” This kind of goes without saying yet I find myself saying it over and over again. Then repeating myself when one child has been a little too honest with some unsuspecting victim. I know that I am getting through to my kids though because just last week my son came to me first before sharing some information that he wanted to share. “Mama” he said “I want to tell Oma [my mother who lives with us] that she has floppy boobies. Can I do that?” See, score one for my fabulous parenting. He did not tell Oma but he did make Mommy speechless. I mean what woman does not know when her boobies are floppy?

4. “Just because the clothes that you have been wearing for two days don't look dirty, they are dirty.” Yeah…about that…well never mind.

5. “If your going to lie, at least put a little thought into your back story and wipe your face a bit.” As I sat there staring at my four year old daughter giving me her best angelic cherub look complete with a few slow, eye blinks, I thought that she was close, really close to almost convincing me. But to really convince me that she did not eat all of the doughnuts that her daddy just bought, I was thinking that she should have really wiped the doughnut off of her face first and maybe moved the princess brush, comb, mirror set away from the counter which was laying right next to the doughnut box. Other than that, it was pretty convincing.

6. “Dessert is not your God given right!” The other night sometime in the middle of the night I suddenly felt a little finger tapping on  my forehead. Was I dreaming? Nope came another tap, tap, tap. I open an eye to see the same four year old from the doughnut incident is standing there, clearly with something weighing on her mind. I look at the clock and my cable company is trying to convince me that it is 3:22 AM. I look  over at her and say “Are you freakin' kidding me Annabella. WHAT? What is it angel?” She looks at me with tears in her eyes and I am starting to feel like kind of a jerk now so I lower my tone and start rubbing her back. “What is it, sweet girl?” She looks at me with those weepy eyes and says, “I didn't have no bessert today.” Yeah it's cute that she calls it bessert instead of dessert but at 3 AM…ain't nothing that cute.